“Don't promote negativity online and expect people to treat you with positivity in person.”
― Germany Kent
“How different would people act if they couldn't show off on social media? Would they still do it?” ― Donna Lynn Hope
“What you post online speaks VOLUMES about who you really are. POST with intention. REPOST with caution.”I should preface this post with the admission that I deleted my Facebook account last July 2016, I had used Facebook enthusiastically for several years prior to that. I made a very long and deliberate choice not to just deactivate but,to full on,delete my account.
― Germany Kent
I went through several months considering the loss of the easy means to connect with family and friends and what that would be like. I admit I'm not big on chatting over the phone although I do enjoy catching up with the few people I hold close. I'm an introvert but not to the fullest extreme.
I pondered what it was that had changed my mind from encouraging my aging parents to join so our extended family world-wide,could easily drop each other a line, see photos/posts without the inconvenience of time differences and those costly long distance phone bills. I know, I know, some people use Skype but I'm not a fan and the delay is something that just bothers the hell out of me but I digress..Once I was clear I'd had enough I posted an update that I'd be leaving FaceBook but would be on Instagram.I left the post up for a few days trying to give people time to see the post before I deleted my account. I had more than one response from my friends that they understood & some even said they'd thought about getting off of Facebook too. I also had a good few who didn't see the post and may have taken it more personally as they stopped following me on my Instagram. Those who didn't make it about themselves sent me an email asking if I had blocked them for some reason and I explained it certainly wasn't personal& they must have missed the post that I would be deleting my account.
I realized with my contemplation that the changes to the platform of Facebook had begun to gnaw at me.I understand things need to be switched up,expanded and there are always bumps in the road you must expect & be patient with.What I didn't like the most however, was how I was feeling while using it and after using it. I began to question the manipulation of algorithms,was it friends are just busy and not seeing my post(s) in their newsfeed (as I would see them interact with each others posts at the time of mine)? Maybe I was being too sensitive,making a big deal out of nothing, maybe my posts were just boring! Meh.I began to feel pretty stupid about expending so much emotion,time &energy over silly social media posts. What was I doing?! It was petty. My friends were still contacting me outside of social media, nothing there had changed. I needed to move on.
When I spent more days off social media, particularly Facebook( as at the time I wasn't using my two other SM accounts, Twitter and Instagram) I felt immediately better, to the point that I wasn't particularly keen to log in. Some people would send me private messages or would post on my wall asking if I was "ok" as they noticed I hadn't been on Facebook, which is what happens when there's illness or something quite serious going on. I noticed there were people, including some family would spend their morning,afternoon and evening posting,responding to Facebook,all week long,every day. It didn't matter if they were at work or off. I don't work outside the home & have more free time to scan social media and so this was a bit of an eye-opening new perception,awareness.Social media is a rabbit hole that swallows up hours of our time. I found that 3-4 hrs on Facebook was a lot over my day and usually meant I wasn't doing other things, both mundane and the more exciting that should have had more priority in my life. It felt meaningless to read and make what amounts to, redundant posts for hours upon hours,day and into the night. I understand not all people use social media in this time-absorbing fashion, that they,like my husband can go on and lurk a bit,make an occasional comment and then be off. In my personal experience with people I know and interact with online however, it seems to me that more people spend an inordinate amount of time on social media than not. Social media can switch from being pleasant or fun to an addicting, all-encompassing distraction.
The dark side of social media is the trolling,harassing, threatening,posting things one would never say to another's face (for the most part- although I think it's causing a more sizable number of people to become less empathetic and certainly less able to disagree with courtesy).Facebook claims with it's Live Feed that it doesn't allow murderous,violent content but it still manages to be uploaded & seen for hours until it's removed and, sorry, yes, they do benefit from a number of people that end up viewing the content. The shock value is attractive enough to certain people to both post and to view,some of worst humanity is offering to share with them. There are just some things I don't need the trauma of witnessing nor do I want my YA children to. You can't "unsee" that.The devastation of families such as Robert Godwin's of such a traumatic post gone globally viral is just a recent example. I 'm glad I haven't seen the footage and am purposefully avoiding doing so. His family have begged for people to not share this footage & remove it if they had. It's a sad comment that they have to ask this of society.What if it was your child,parent,spouse, extended relative or friend? In your horrific grief you must then contend with those continuing to share that footage despite it being removed from the initial social media platform it was posted on.
There's also the case of journalist Kurt Eichenwald who has epilepsy being sent a strobing image tweet meant to cause him to go into seizure. It did indeed cause Kurt to have a significant seizure that was 8 minutes long. John Rivello has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and the added feature of a hate crime due to antisemitic bias associated with the crime.
I finish this with concluding that my life is better without Facebook,personally. I'm spending more time reading books,attending to my family,health issues,hobbies and I feel my communications are more meaningful even though not so immediate, as a Facebook post.
I haven't sworn off all social media but I have chosen to use platforms that are more of a positive experience for me. I have altered certain things about how I use social media also, for my more private account I'm very thoughtful as to who I add and the number of people. I can't keep up with more than 150 people and have an enjoyable experience. I limit my time on my private account, tending to post/read every 2-3 days. Twitter is for me, more of a means to see in one place,news,outside interests and opinions. It's easily toxic so I limit my interactions and time there also as it's easy to get sucked into nasty,weird exchanges with people set to troll. I lock down my account from time to time there. You just don't really know who it is you're dealing with online so it's truly best to be careful as I have learned over the years.I have gotten to know a few who proved to be a bit of a problem for various behavioral reasons and that isn't always so immediate when chatting online. You get to then deal with the not-so-fun reality of blocking and disassociating which can get at the very least to be a hassle,sad and disappointing to sometimes going straight into scary with those who become obsessed and enraged and God help you if they hack or dox you.
Social media can be a very positive experience for the most part but one must mindfully and carefully tread these online waters.
